We convinced ourselves there was love. That’s the saddest part. We began to believe that love was in the loudness, that love was the constant motion of feelings and heart aches, that love was only ever opaque: making it hard to hear anything over the roar of it, making it impossible to feel anything other than the bumps and slumps, and ultimately making it impossible to see anything through the permanent film. That’s where we got it wrong.

Love shouldn’t have minimized the scope in which we saw. Love is in the quietness: in syllables not spoken, in black and white movies, in moments of mourning, moments of awe, in the rustling of sheets in the dark. Love is in the stillness: of faded photographs of generations passed, open country skies where the stars drip down to kiss the abyss, when the ocean could cut the horizon like glass. Love is clarity: a baby’s first breath coupled by a shrill scream, in knowing how one likes their coffee, in knowing who’s calling without checking the caller i.d.
Love was in all the things we took for granted, all the trivial moments we looked past and forgot about. How selfish we looked upon our time together, convinced we’d always have a moment more to instagram or tag, or blog about. Love is in the moments you don’t tell anyone about. Love is so much more simple than what we complicated. Love is so much more important than all of our moments of selfishness and feigned passion. And this is only the beginning of love. 

'Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead'

Someone like you is very special, and someone like you too difficult to have ♥

Now, when your voice begins to play in my head i allow the syntax, and flow the unravel. Syllable by syllable you stretch into infinity, but i find that even you pulled apart is beautiful. I can't afford to think like that. There are first loves, first lover, first husbands, and a lot of things in between. Then, there are men like you. So untouchable and so wounderful. You were not a first, and even though my heart so greedily envisioned you as my very last you will not be that either. I breathe for you hungrily like the second before landing, i hold out for you like ending notes of a ballad. This isn't bitterness, gentle heart. I'm not lonely for yours. It takes too much out of me to long for someone like you. I once told you that i knew why i had being single for so long, and i knew why no one ever meet up to expectation. "I take the best in someone and i build it to be so much more, it makes the most imperfect person the perfect person for me. It allows me to be content with whomever i make him the one only for me." And you told me how you'd spend the past couple months doing the same thing. Of course i was hinting about you, and although i am an avid over-reader i get the feeling you mean too. Enough, I give up. I give up on you specifically, no, not the symbol you stand for, not the loveliness that you are the token of. But i give up pining away for you. One night i spouted Adele lyrics at you after i asked you to come and meet me for a cup of coffee and you declined. Never mind, Ill find someone like you. How accurate, how simple, you'd say if you read this. Someone like you, someone with all the good parts, because you are not mine.

We cannot know what lies ahead, from day to passing day. What changes God is planning, in His wise and loving way. We cannot know the reasons, He allows both joy and tears. Why we must lose those precious ones, We've cherished through the years. We cannot know but we can trust, and faith can help us find. Our ways to those tomorrow's that will bring us peace of mind.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in, forget them as soon as you can. tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with to high a spirit to be encumbered with your all nonsense.

p/s : I FEEL LIKE IM WAITING FOR SOMETHING THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN